In a Heart Beat
by reanwood
Summary: After Yuki's tragic death leaves Kyo battered and confused, no one seems to know what to say. Can the blood soaked cat come to terms with the horrible memory? Can anyone? One shot


**Disclaimer: Fruits Basket does not belong to me; neither does the origin of tragedy in this story. With different names and characters, this story is real and took place not long ago, though a few liberties where taking in shaping it to my liking and to fit the Fruits Basket cast.  Thank you**

_   Stupid cat, you never watch where you're going._

   That's what he last said to the orange haired boy, giving him a disgusted look.

   _Always clumsy, can't you ever do anything right?_

He had demanded. The snow had been falling heavily that day, the roads slick and ice. Kyo Souma had glared up at him, his breathe coming in gasps, and his unruly orange hair plastered to his face from the cold. 

   _Honestly, if you keep this up, you'll never beat me. Slipping in snow, how foolish can you get?_

_   **How about not seeing the car as it careened around the corner, huh? I call THAT foolish, you damn rat. You call me stupid, but you're the one who's…who's…**_

****

**_You're the one who's dead._**

****

**** Kyo's eyes snapped open, and he stared at the ceiling, panting. He sat up in his small bed, glancing at the clock. 6 a.m., Sunday morning. Sunday…had it really been two days already? It had seemed to close in his dream, like it just happened. The blood, it was warm on his fingers and face, and the screeching of the tires…they were so loud, he was sure it was real. But Shigure had told him once, that if a memory hurts enough, then it can seem so real in a dream. Kyo swung his feet out of bed and walked over to the window. It was still snowing. The ground was covered in an innocent white blanket, giving the air of perfect peace. It was so absurd how nature could lie sometimes.

   There were sounds of crying downstairs, and he knew Yuki's parents where awake. Silently, he carefully left his room, taking a few steps down and staring at the crying adults, holding each other and sobbing in their grief. He wondered, would people cry like this for him if it had been _him _who had died? Him who had been killed?

   He doubted it. Well, maybe a few people would, but no one else seemed to care enough. Kagura, Kazuma-san… maybe even Tohru. 

   _Tohru…_

Kyo glanced back up the stairs at the door across from his. Of course, he couldn't see through it, but he could imagine the girl on the other side, sleeping with her pillow clutched tightly, dry tears still on her face. And Shigure… Shigure had seemed to be in shock. Walking around with a strange expression on his face, as if something seemed wrong, like this was all one of his stories, and none of it should be real. But it was real. They all acted like Kyo was the same as them, in the same stage of grief. But they couldn't even imagine. Them, they had all loved Yuki. All of them, he was so special. But to Kyo, he had always been a source of pain. And he might not have hated him, but he wished he could. But that didn't mean… none of them where there. They had only heard the police officers explaining what happened. They, they didn't see it. He had. He had been there, he had been the one who came home with the police spattered in his cousins' blood, clothes and hair stained a horrible red. 

   Of course, they had TRIED to understand the horrible experience, saying that he must be terribly affected. And he was, of course he was. But… it wasn't really Yuki's death that had bothered him. It was the look in his eyes when he died, the cold, frozen and petrified look. He'd never seen Yuki's eyes so afraid, so terrified of death. And…and the way his body had slammed into the windshield, glass shards flying everywhere, and then rolled lifelessly to the cold ground. The driver had stumbled out, stuttering. Kyo had at once known the young girl was drunk, and probably under age. But he paid no attention to her as she cried, and people gathered around, screaming and calling ambulances. He just continued to stare at the body laying a few feet away from him, as if expecting the young boy to spring back to life and sneer at him. But he didn't. He never got up, never once moved. 

   Someone asked his name, pulling Kyo unsteadily to his feet. He had given the man a blank look, and tried to speak. But all that came out was a choked whimper, and the words "get up…" Lady's shook their heads, claiming he was traumatized.  And he was, for the briefest instant while he watched the lifeless teen's smirk freeze on his face. But…after that, it was just the shock of the knowledge Yuki was never getting up again that made him tremble. He had always wished Yuki would go away and stop messing up his life, but he had never wanted him dead. And now all he wanted was to hear the stupid brat's mocking taunts, and bored voice scolding him.

   It wasn't fair. It just was fair. Yuki, no matter how spoiled and perfect, hadn't deserved death…he had never done anything so hurtful as to have his life destroyed so quickly…never. Once or twice, he had even stuck up for Kyo in times when he really needed someone. And now he was gone, with his annoying purple eyes and mop haircut, his perfect face and gentle smile, it was all gone.

   Kyo's dark amber eyes softened as he gazed at the two crying parents again. He was gone, and they couldn't bring him back. He knew it must hurt, and he wondered if there was something he could do to comfort them. But he knew there was no answer. And worst still, the news of Yuki's death hadn't reached the papers, and when it did…there would be absolute horror at school. So many girls would be traumatized; his entire fan club members… and he knew some of them would blame him, eventually. Once they got over the initial shock. And he knew, in the corner of his mind, that he would sometime blame himself for it too. Question's of 'why didn't I', and 'what if I' would come up, and make him feel like trash. He knew, however, that no matter what she believed, Tohru and her friends would stick up for him. That provided the small amount of comfort to him, knowing there still where people out there who would still stand by his side. 

   "Kyo," A soft, childish voice made him look up. A tired Momiji stood at the top of the stairs, looking down at him with those sad, deep blue eyes. His blonde hair lay in mats, and there were bags under his eyes, as well as dried tears he hadn't bothered to wipe away. The young Souma ran down the stairs and embraced his older cousin, crying softly into his chest.

   "Momiji?" Kyo whispered, patting his head. For once, he didn't flinch, or yell, or stiffen when his younger cousin hugged him. He knew Momiji experiencing the same pain as everybody else seemed to be. He sighed, pulling the blonde boy away form him, and holding him at arms length. "Are you alright?" He asked softly.

   "Yuki-kun…" Momiji stuttered, "He really won't be back?" 

   Kyo sighed again, "No, Momiji…chan. He wont be back," The young boy began to cry again, and Kyo heard the door above them open. He looked up, locking eyes with Tohru. Her deep blue eyes, feeling the sadness that that was buried deep in her wide eyes.

   "Tohru-san…" He straightened up and looked away, staring instead at the two crying parents, who still had not heard the commotion on the stairs. Momiji rushed up the stairs and hugged Tohru tightly, and with a popping noise and a cloud of pink smoke, he turned into a small, crying rabbit. Tohru hugged him tightly, fresh tears springing to her eyes. Kyo walked up the stairs quietly, standing next to them awkwardly. Tohru reached out to hug him also, but he stepped back, afraid suddenly. What did she think? Did she blame him, secretly, also? She had been the one who had hugged him first three days ago, turning him into a blood soaked cat. She'd cried into his deeply stained fur, hugging him tightly to her body. But what did she feel now? Disgust? Anger? Or was she…just in too much pain to feel anything but loss, as they all seemed to be. He looked back up at her, at her pain filled eyes, and felt his own eyes begin to sting with the beginning of tears forming. He shook his head violently, but couldn't prevent them from leaking down his tanned cheek. 

_   Your so weak, you stupid cat._

   Kyo shook his head, willing the painful words to go away. But they still burned in his mind, as if they were being spoken at that exact moment. He felt the anger in the words, and the laughter. His anger, Yuki's laughter… they still rang fresh in his mind. What had possessed them to go out that day? Yuki had been feeling slightly off, and Shigure had told Kyo, since Tohru was out with friends, he was the one who had to accompany Yuki to see Hatori. Kyo, of course, had protested violently, but in the end, with threats of telling Tohru, he had given in, and accompanied his feverish cousin all the way to the main Souma House. 

   "Kyo-kun," Tohru breathed, watching his tears slide down his cheeks. Her heart felt like it had been iced over, both from the horrible loss of Yuki, to the painful sight of seeing Kyo cry. He leaned his head on her shoulder, wishing desperately he was not so weak, so that he would not cry in the presence of Tohru… the girl he and Yuki had argued over. She was the main source of their bickering, though neither would ever admit to it. Shigure had always loved to poke at them with it, but Tohru was always to oblivious to seem to notice.

   After a few minutes of staying like this, the rabbit in her arms, Kyo on her shoulder, Momiji changed back, dressing quickly and returning silently to his room, of which he was sharing with Hatsuharu, who hadn't spoken a word since Yuki's death. Kyo remained with his head in her shoulder, wishing for the world to stop then. Slowly, he looked up into her eyes, watching the tears slowly stop falling as she stared back.

   "Arigatou, Tohru," He thanked her, wiping away his tears, "For letting me shed my tears on your shoulder. It feels so much better to lean on you," She gave him a weak smile that even then seemed to brighten up his sadness. "Thank you," He whispered, and left into his bedroom. He fell asleep once again, but this time, no nightmares or memory's flashed by. He dreamed of bright colors and flowers, for some odd reason.

   Tohru stared at his door, then down at the two Souma's at the bottom of the stairs. She felt sad for their grief over their lost son, and Ayame was not yet to be heard from, but she couldn't help but think if they cared so much, why didn't he live with them? She shook her head, and could only hope they would all come to terms with there sadness soon… all of them, including her.

   "Good morning, Souma-san," Tohru said politely, bowing to them as she cooked their early breakfast. The older women smiled weakly back at her, nodding. 

   "Honda-san," She acknowledged, watching Shigure make his way down the stairs. He had postponed all writing projects until further notice, and Mii had not demanded details. Momiji and Haru made their way down soon later, followed by Kyo. As they all gathered around the breakfast table, no one dared to speak. Finally, Yuki's father opened his mouth, sighing as he picked at the Miso soup.

   "It was one of Yuki's favorite foods, Miso." He said gruffly. Within seconds, his wife was crying in his shoulder. Kyo stood up, his eyes reflecting disgust. He wanted desperately to tell the two 'adults' to grow up, but held his tongue, if only for his own sake. He left without saying a word, his meal untouched. Haru ate quietly, his eyes closed. Momiji was curled up against his side, his head buried in his black and white haired cousin's shoulder. Shigure had also chosen not to speak, but watched Kyo stomp out of the room, as he had done so many times in the past. But this time, it was different. It wasn't at anger for Yuki, as it had always been before, but the empty feeling of missing Yuki that drove him away from the others at that moment. 

   Tohru stood silently, and followed him out the door, trailing after him. Not long after, Momiji and Haru excused themselves and headed up to their room. Shigure now sat alone, sipping his tea calmly. He looked up, a distant look in his eyes as he watched his two fellow adults. "So," He said; his voice a fake cheerful, "How's business been going, eh?"

   Tohru found Kyo sitting on a street corner, gazing at the snow. She followed his eyes, not surprised to see the snow as white and pure as innocent got. She sat down next to him, looking at him.

   "But it's not just any corner," He murmured, "It's _the_ street corner. They washed all the red snow away, you know. They melted it all away, and I watched it drain into the gutters. I watched his blood drain into the gutters, Tohru. And I watched as they slowly covered his body with a sheet, giving each other sad looks. Do you know what they said, as they were folding his body up and loading it into their car? They said it was a shame kids so young had to be stupid and not look where they were going. They called him stupid, Tohru, for walking across a street. They called him _stupid_, for not seeing some stupid girl. Like it was his fault she was drunk."

   His fists clenched, and he glared at the street. "Like he somehow could have prevented it form happening, like… it was his fault we was dead. His…fault…" He put his head on his knees, wishing the pain would go away. The empty, numb feeling inside him would wash away with the blood and tears. But he knew some scars he would carry with him for all his life, and this was one of them. Tohru put a hand on his shoulder, and he shook his head. "I should have done something…they're all going to blame me at school, if I ever go back. They're all going to say I should have saved him, pulled him back. But I didn't see it, Tohru. No more than he did! But it doesn't matter. They're all going to blame me anyways. Because they have to blame somebody, so why not the person who was with him at the time? It fits, doesn't it? I mean, I always hated Yuki, right? So I could just have planned this whole thing out, to get him off my back. Planned for him to die, in that horrible accident, his blood everywhere… staining the snow, covering me… the glass pieces scattered on the ground…" A tear slipped down his cheek, "Like I wanted him to die in such a horrible way."

   Tohru hugged him then, not caring if anybody saw. But no one did, as no one had walked along that road for three days. He orange cat curled up in her lap, small tears sliding down his sleek orange fur. Tohru cried and hugged him tightly. "Kyo-kun, it wasn't your fault… no one could have stopped what happened, Kyo…" She whispered, wishing she could shoe him how much she supported him, but she knew talking to him would be useless in this state. So instead she just held him closely, hoping he would be comforted by her warm embrace. 

   "Kyo," A harsh voice made them both look up; just as Kyo transformed back into his human form, Tohru looked up at the tall figure in front of them as he quickly changed back into his clothes. 

   "Hatsuharu-san," Tohru whispered, realized this was the first time he had spoken in days. "Good morning,"

   He nodded absently to her, but bent down in front of Kyo, his dark, drowsy eyes fixed and concentrating on his face. "Kyo, listen to me. I heard your whole rant just then, and let me tell you something right now. You're probably right; they probably will blame you for a while. But they're wrong, okay? It's not your fault, and it's not Yuki's. It's the drivers fault. It wasn't you who hit Yuki, and it wasn't you who was drunk. But look at it this way, Kyo Souma, you where with him, when he passed on." Tohru realized suddenly that Haru's eyes where filled with tears, for the first time she'd ever seen. His vacant expression was gone, and replaced by a much more serious one. "_You_ where with him; that's more than the rest of us did, more than they did, and they can't even imagine what it must have been like for you. None of us can. But Kyo, it's not your fault, got it?" He reached out a gloved hand and grabbed Kyo by the scruff of the neck, "So I don't want to ever hear you get down on yourself like that again, you hear me?"

   "That's probably the most I've ever heard you say, Haru." Kyo murmured, looking down. "Yes, I hear you…"

   "Good." Haru stood, and turned to go, "Tohru, you make sure he never does that again, okay?"

   "Okay," Tohru smiled; a flicker of happiness returning. Kyo looked at her, then at Haru, the back to her again. 

   "Haru!" He called, stopping him, "…Thanks, I guess. Yeah, thanks."

   Haru nodded, and continued to walk away. Kyo looked at Tohru, a new light in his eyes. The scars would never fade completely, she knew, but at least she might be able to help them become less painful.

   A week later, at Yuki's funeral, Kyo bent down in front of the casket, and looked at the picture that rested on it. The smirk that was frozen in the young boys face was almost insulting, the way he looked so superior to everyone. But nothing else had changed. His eyes where still that annoying violet shade, his hair still a mop, his figure still brooding. Kyo stared at the picture and sighed. Looking back at the casket, he leaned down.

   "Listen, ya damn rat," He whispered, "I really hated your smug looks, and the way you always thought you could beat me. And you always could, sadly. But still, I miss you. No, that's not a lie. I swear. I miss you already, with your stupid remarks and dumb smirks. I miss fighting with you." He straightened up, "I'll take good care of Tohru, I promise. Goodbye, Yuki." He turned around; his head bowed and hands in his pockets. 

   Almost as if a soft voice was there with them, as Kyo reached Tohru, who smiled sadly back up at him and held his hand, he felt he could almost hear Yuki's soft voice whisper gently next to him.

   _You had better take good care of her. Because if you don't, I'm going to kick your ass, you stupid cat._

Kyo smiled, and he suddenly felt he wouldn't change lives with anybody just then. Not with anybody. He looked down at Tohru, then at everyone else who surrounded him, then at the casket that held the body of his teenage cousin. No, he wouldn't trade his life for anything. It was too precious and special to give up. He would live, and take care of what Yuki could not. Haru had showed him that. His life was just as important as anybody else's, and he would be there for the people Yuki could no longer be there for. And in the hearts and minds of everyone there, Yuki Souma would never be forgotten.

**The End**

**  Authors Notes: This story is in dedication to Joshua Harwell, who lived 15 wonderful years on this earth, and touched the lives and hearts of many people. Josh died in March 2004, leaving behind a mourning best friend and countless other friends and family members. Josh, you're an angel to us all, may your brilliant smile light up the heavens. Rest in Peace.**

**Though I did not know Josh personally, his death affected me almost as much as it did those who knew him. I really regret not knowing him, and knowing he was such an amazing person makes me certain he was gone on to a better life in God's hands.**

**Thank you all for reading this story, and God bless.**

**Chibi-chan**


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